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Sunday, February 19, 2017
Thursday, February 16, 2017 10:34 AM
There was a time when getting on an airliner was not only glamorous, but fun. Flying involved hot meals served at regular intervals, lots of beverages, offers of pillows and blankets and quite often, empty seats right next to your own. . . .
  • After long observing people going on vacation, I have come to the conclusion that there are three parts to a complete, traditional vacation experience. First there is talking about it; next, and equally important, is actually going . . .
  • It’s the dead of winter: I’ve been writing and thinking about the cold and about heat. This led me to the strange world where we falsely experience heat commonly caused by spicy food; mainly hot peppers. The sudden interest . . .
  • It’s almost mid-winter and feeling fairly cold, but, to compare, the lowest temperature recorded on earth was observed on July 21, 1983, by Soviet scientists at Vostok Station in Antarctica. They figured it was 128.6ºF below zero . . .
  • Being cold is such a big concern for humans that we have created the word “cold” with our languages to represent the concept. We all have a very clear idea of what is meant by cold. However, if you look into the science, you will find . . .
  • Although it’s very late, I would like to thank all of the friends, neighbors, complete strangers and felons who attended our end-of-the-year gala for all the joy they brought to our household. Since the list of invitees was lost to the fire . . .
  • Frozen pipes? Don’t even get me started on frozen pipes. Remember, I am a member of the Raw Sewage in Your Face Club: a small fraternity of hard-core plumbing problem solvers — and that includes all manner of frozen-pipe problems. . . .
  • There have been times when I’ve been called a Christmas humbugger but that is not entirely accurate. I rarely tire of the holiday hubbub before December 1st and I’ve even been known to wish people a Merry Christmas after . . .
  • Instead of doing real, productive work, I often find myself pondering half-baked philosophical questions that if answered would certainly propel us no further toward our ultimate destiny — unless our destiny is to ponder goofy . . .
  • Whenever I’m in line to pay my property taxes, people ask why I moved my family to Maine from Alaska. The usual answer is that when we escaped, this is where we ran out of road, gas and money. There are better places to run . . .
  • Let’s talk about our personal financial situation. Oh wait, we’re Americans: we can talk all day about money but we never speak of our personal finances. It is mildly forbidden. When we meet someone at a party it’s rude . . .
  • Drinks in hand at our table, we sat at a moderately fast food restaurant waiting for our order. We had already noted that there were crushed French fries on the floor, lightbulbs burned out in the dining area and ketchup splatter on the ...
  • Thank you, everyone who entered or intended to enter the essay contest, but please stop. We already have a winner. In case you are one of the few who missed out on the excitement, allow me to fill in the details. Some time . . .
  • When I was young, I studied attractive, elegant and seductive older people pictured in magazines and television. I fully expected to meet people like these as I moved into their age bracket. Now that I’m older, I see attractive, elegant . . .
  • As voting day draws near, people often come to me after church or at the bail bondsman’s office and ask if I can clearly explain anything, like how does ranked- choice voting work? That is a two-part question, so let us tackle . . .
  • People, we’ve been over this before but it hasn’t stopped the trend. As disturbing as it sounds, Halloween is getting to be more and more fun. This is not how it should be. We have lots of holidays for fun and festivity. We have only . . .
  • While stopped behind a school bus last week I remembered that I have a daughter. This made me wonder what she is doing in Australia with her work visa, living Down Under near those Australian surfing beaches packed . . .
  • Do you sometimes get the urge to jump on a bicycle and ride into the sunset to see how far away you can get? I know I do but some people — alright, my wife — have no desire to use a bicycle. She has expressed the same fantasy . . .
  • Late last spring I announced to my wife that I intended to bicycle from here to Key West Florida this fall. She is a very kind woman and so she kept her composure and humored me with a few questions before saying no. . . .
  • Don’t you just love wise sayings and proverbs? I know I do. It’s comforting to read that “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.” We all know that “There’s no such thing as a free lunch” and no one disagrees that . . .
  • It is hard not to notice that yard sales persist, even though we have discussed these marketplaces in the past. We concluded that our possessions meet at night, decide that something must be done and then force us . . .
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