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Saturday, April 22, 2017
Thursday, April 20, 2017 11:34 AM
Assumptions ... expectations.... Relationships are important work. Certainly not the kind of effort to avoid, but rather the kind of work that requires a strong commitment to rolling up our sleeves . . .
  • Q: I have a son who’s graduating from high school this year and a daughter, 19, who will be returning from her first year in college next month. It’s such an anxious time for me. I don’t know where to draw the line with either . . .
  • Q: We want to have another baby, but aren’t sure when’s the right time to do that so our child isn’t jealous. I never got along well with my siblings, but my husband had a pretty great relationship with his two younger brothers. . . .
  • Children can reintroduce us to the world, if we remain open to that possibility. Sharing a child’s lens of exploration, curiosity, excitement and discovery can be one of our most pleasurable experiences. What makes us often too hasty . . .
  • Q: I know you’ve written a lot about kids’ behavior, and I’m trying really hard to follow your good advice. I guess I need some reminders, because my three kids are not behaving. Even my two little ones don’t do what I tell them to . . .
  • A few years ago, I was in close proximity to a mixed- age group of children. The opportunity provided a spontaneous “ah ha,” as I observed the children’s unique reactions to the stimulation of loud music and the large event . . .
  • Power struggles between parents and children are more about power imbalance than “fluff”! If we want to move from power struggles to cooperation and problem solving, we must be willing to remove the “fluff” from our ears . . .
  • Parenting is probably the hardest job we will ever have. Most parents don’t want to admit failure. Consider the qualities you want your children to have, asking yourself whether what you’re currently doing will ensure they have them. . . .
  • I remember an acquaintance in eighth grade who feigned illness many times to avoid school attendance. He was being chronically bullied, despite several of us trying to protect him. Apparently he would convince his mother he had . . .
  • Q: I need some help in curbing my anger towards my kids or, at least, learning what’s acceptable and what’s out of line. I blame one of my kids a lot, because he can’t seem to do anything right. He’s never ready on time, he doesn’t do . . .
  • Whenever I reflect on my parenting journey, I’m reminded of many mistakes I made, sometimes wishing I could have a “do-over.” If I didn’t listen to what my child was telling me — with behavior, facial expressions or body language . . .
  • Before becoming a mother, I believed parenting would be both demanding and gratifying. However, I never fully understood the meaning of sleep deprivation, of humility, or the importance of maintaining a skewed sense of humor. . . .
  • Conflict and divisiveness are at the forefront of our news. It is with this uncertainty and instability that we might be more easily drawn into conflicts. Opposing views can lead to posturing with others, while our children . . .
  • Q: I don’t get how my kids can be so different from me and my husband. Well, one of our boys is a bit like my husband, but the other two (boy and girl) have personalities that are totally different. I get frustrated, and pretty angry at times. . . .
  • Some years ago, teachers at a New Hampshire school asked me to do a training on “Anger in the Classroom,” to which I responded: “Whose anger? Students or teachers?” Silence for a few moments.... “Well, the students, of course!” . . .
  • “I hate you!” OUCH! How many times have parents heard that from their child? Whether we respond or react depends on our relationship to anger. Let’s face it. Aggression is normal. From the infant screaming in anger when he’s . . .
  • It’s not surprising that many parents speak of post-holiday blues, both for themselves and sometimes for their children. The confluence of factors — holiday preparation, expectations, shopping, overspending, overdoing . . .
  • While I was growing up, my best friend was Jewish. I was blessed with celebrating both holidays, Chanukah with my friend’s family and Christmas with my own. These celebrations shaped so many cherished memories. My parents created . . .
  • I know very little about this Santa helper. When my children were small, this elf hadn’t been “invented.” Instead, myths circulated at preschool, kindergarten and children’s holiday events about the magical powers of Santa . . .
  • It’s hard to believe the holidays are upon us again. The festive details are not always noticed or appreciated by those who are alone, suffering, compromised in any way. For many families, the holidays are a time of overscheduling . . .
  • Q: We’re facing divorce and have heard about mediation. I’m not exactly sure what it is, what’s nvolved, but we want to do this as easily as possible for our children. Whatever information you can provide in helping us to decide . . .
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